I think people underestimate the power of silence. Many times it is not the words that are spoken that leave the most impact, but the words that left unsaid. Often people view silence as the absense of something, but what if instead, silence is so much of something that our physical bodies can no longer take in it? What if silence is communication to your spirit?
When I think of the happiest moment of my life, I can not put words to what I was feeling. I was speechless. Silent. The same can be said for the darkest moments in my life. My spirit feels aching so deep there are no words, not even sounds that could describe to someone the amount of agony my soul is feeling at those moments. So I am still. I am quiet. When People think of "peace" they often think of quiet. That overwhelming sense that everything is going to be okay and the term we use is "peace and quiet." Anger is also communicated by silence. Massive amounts of distance and effort to keep communication to a minimum in order to "punish" the other person for their wrongs. Silence.
I have never heard a spirit. I have never been able to hear a soul. But I have felt them. I have felt the warmth a soul in a touch and seen the evil in one's eyes. I have physically felt a spirit touch me, but never have a I heard a word. My mind is full of words. It's constantly releasing random thoughts and tangents in the form of language or sound. But my soul, oh my soul takes over my whole body and takes whatever deep and wordless emotions I have and puts it through ever part of my being. That is when I can pray. When my mind has finally given up and my spirit is allowed to communicate with God, that is when I am the most in tune with God. When I am silent.
I know I run the risk of sounding like a complete hippy with this idea, and maybe I am. After all I am an Oregonian. All I know is, when there is silence I feel one of two things: something is so wrong, or something is so right.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Whispers
Last night was one of those nights where you fall fast asleep, wake up at some ungodly time and toss and turn until about a half hour before your alarm goes off, when you finally resume restful sleep. During these hours of drifting in and out of sleep, I heard a whisper. Normally I think these whispers are my own thoughts that I have ignored reverberating from the back of my mind, but this thought was too amazing to be my own. I can only guess it was His.
What is the point in having money and power if it only causes you to chase after more money and more power? What if you used your money and power to deeply impact others lives while still pursuing more money and power to deeply affect more lives?
I found this funny because as those around me know, I don't really have much money or power. So who was He talking to? The image that was brought to mind made me laugh: Bono. What was really interesting was I felt him being stripped of all power before my eyes. This amazingly rich pop start who is an icon to many, was suddenly stripped down to this short, stange, greasy-haired guy with an accent that wore sunglasses inside. There is nothing especially fantastic or different about this man compared to a lot of people, he just got lucky. But what makes him very special is what he has done with the fruits of his luck. His RED campaigne with Starbucks among many other things. This is what the voice was talking about.
Even with the clarity of what was being said, why was it being said to me? Is this foreshadowing into the things my future might hold? Somewhere in my life is there money and power stashed that I have no idea about? Am I just a vessel for the message? So many questions. But I know Him well enough that the answer is really none of my business. He likes to keep me guessing to keep me interested. The only answer I felt was: don't think about what your don't have, but use what you do. Okay... What does that mean?
For now I am not sure if this whisper even requires action. I do know that it has been resonating in my mind all morning, even though I did not remember it happened until I was sitting at my desk at work. Who knows, maybe these whispers are my own insanity induced by the inability to sleep, or maybe not...
What is the point in having money and power if it only causes you to chase after more money and more power? What if you used your money and power to deeply impact others lives while still pursuing more money and power to deeply affect more lives?
I found this funny because as those around me know, I don't really have much money or power. So who was He talking to? The image that was brought to mind made me laugh: Bono. What was really interesting was I felt him being stripped of all power before my eyes. This amazingly rich pop start who is an icon to many, was suddenly stripped down to this short, stange, greasy-haired guy with an accent that wore sunglasses inside. There is nothing especially fantastic or different about this man compared to a lot of people, he just got lucky. But what makes him very special is what he has done with the fruits of his luck. His RED campaigne with Starbucks among many other things. This is what the voice was talking about.
Even with the clarity of what was being said, why was it being said to me? Is this foreshadowing into the things my future might hold? Somewhere in my life is there money and power stashed that I have no idea about? Am I just a vessel for the message? So many questions. But I know Him well enough that the answer is really none of my business. He likes to keep me guessing to keep me interested. The only answer I felt was: don't think about what your don't have, but use what you do. Okay... What does that mean?
For now I am not sure if this whisper even requires action. I do know that it has been resonating in my mind all morning, even though I did not remember it happened until I was sitting at my desk at work. Who knows, maybe these whispers are my own insanity induced by the inability to sleep, or maybe not...
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